Some people say that Tom Mooring was not born, he condensed. These unorthodox forward thinking philosophers say he was the fruitful result of a laboratory experiment in which a radio playing only over-produced, atonal, polyrhythmic Jazz-guff was placed next to a petri-dish in a musically moist environment. The totally awesome and ultra bodacious microorganism that began to cultivate resembled a boy. Nay, a hero. Thus he was dubbed 'MOORING'. For it is written, in unorthodox forward thinking philosophical lore, that one day, a mystical vessel of good taste shall moor at the dock of musical tepidity and lukewarm sentiment to usher in a golden age of aural excitement that will strip the very laminate off whatever sound reproduction device is used to play back said awesome sound.
The people that say things like this are wrong. Mooring is my Dad's family name and Thomas Jefferson (the American king) inspired my forename. So, technically I'm a Thomas but I shorten it to Tom to give people the impression that I'm a Hip-Dude, Hop-Loving, Fresh-Lord. Or whatever. I'm quite tall, have a gap between my front teeth and habitually eat cheese as an emotional crutch.
DEAL WITH THAT YO.
Gakky Teef Pitchas is a supreme collection of the earlier Tom Mooring tracks, a rag-tag bunch of whiteboy rap and more experimental works. The awesome artwork was painted by Chloe Head, her website can be found here: